American Television is a Cultural Abortion

It's a shame that people these days have to watch such garbage during prime time as American television shows has reached an all time low. Of course, with a plethora of channels available, there are plenty of alternative options with great shows (e.g. Discovery Channel, History Channel, etc) but the major networks are filled with regurgitated horse shit during prime time.

The first problem with American television is that when they come up with a hit show, they milk it for way too long. There's no end in sight for shows like American Idol and Survivor. Personally, I thought the shows sucked when they first came out with it but the general public seemed to be easily amused and so on and on they go. Every new season is the same exact shit and yet people are still glued to their sofas watching these lame ass shows. The 8th season is coming in 2009 and Randy still thinks he's white, Simon is still a cunt, and Paula...who gives a shit about Paula?

To make matters worse, once a show takes off, other douche bags who want a piece of the fungus infested pie join the game and create pretty much the exact same shows with a slight change. "So You Think You Can Dance" and "America's Got Talent" comes into mind. The producers of these shows lack so much imagination, that they stick to the same format of 3 judges and in the case of "America's Got Talent" they just replaced Simon with another cunt from the UK with the same kind of lame sarcastic, demeaning remarks. In another example, Iron Chef became a huge hit on the Food Network. The original Japanese version was a pretty exciting show where chefs would battle for a set period of time (usually 1 hour) to create a full course meal from the secret ingredient, which tended to be exotic and pricey items. Of course, with the high ratings the show was plagiarized and thus Iron Chef America was born. However, without the flamboyant, semi-retarded Chairman and the fact everyone is actually speaking English rather than the entire show being dubbed in English, the show lacks the charisma. Furthermore, some of the secret ingredients in the American show have been extremely lame such as bacon, potatoes, onion, and beets. What's next? Chef Boyardee canned pastas?

With globalization, plagiarism within one's own country isn't quite enough. We need to go beyond our borders and steal ideas from other countries. The prime example in this case would be "The Office". I have to admit that the American version is decent. It does a good job of addressing themes common to the American corporate environment. However, in my opinion, the UK version was much better and the absolutely beautiful part of the UK version was that it was short and sweet. Two seasons and two special episodes and the story was told and they stopped at the peak of their game. With the American version, I have no doubt it's going to go on for countless seasons and the story is going to drag along until people lose interest because the show isn't funny anymore. User ratings seem to be the only factor that can stop production of a show. Finally, I've seen commercials for a new show called "Kath and Kim", which is a hit show from Australia. So the global plagiarism continues...

As a side note, can anyone explain to me how Deal or No Deal became such a hit? There's absolutely no skill involved in that game show and yet people are loving it. It's almost like giving a retarded kid multiple dollar bills and him having a blast for hours in front of the change machine that spits out 4 quarters every single time.

I personally watch a lot of TV but you'll rarely find me on any of the major networks. I tend to lean towards the cable networks and spend a majority of my time watching Mythbusters, Man vs. Wild, Reno 911, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Jon and Kate Plus 8, No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain, Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern, Ninja Warrior on the G4 channel, watching random shows on the Golf channel, or watching random shows on truTV like Cops or World's Most Amazing Videos. Some might say that my choices are lame but I'm sure those who think so are the stereotypical inbred fuck nut who still watches American Idol and cries when a contestant gets a positive remark from Simon.

It's time for change and we need people who are fed up with the crap that's on TV to step up and bring original ideas to the table. TV shows need to be made for the sake of entertainment and bar of acceptable entertainment is extremely low right now. Let's hope someone can raise that bar...